Why are white guys the only people who listen to me when I rant about colonialism?

I think it's because they like what they see. Just kidding. Kind of.
Still, they really are the only ones who don’t seem to dismiss my seemingly novel, passionate ravings.

Now that I’ve thought about it more deeply, I think there are a few reasons.

First, it's probably due to the aforementioned reason—seeing as men rarely do anything that doesn’t benefit them. But that’s an essay for another time.

Second, I think it’s because white men have no skin in the game. They haven’t been affected—or more accurately, they’re unaware of how they’ve been affected—by colonialism. Which, to be fair, isn’t saying much. Most people are unaware of how it affects everything.

White men, however, sit at the top of the hierarchy. They’re not trying to climb it. They’re just there. Which means they’re just bored enough to entertain a different perspective. Dare I say—a truer perspective.

I also think this is why we’re seeing an increase in interracial couples. While ethnic men—brown and Black alike—often pursue white women in hopes of gaining the approval of their white male peers (because male peer validation across all ethnic groups is the highest good, especially from men seen as aspirational), white guys are just out here not really caring, as long as their partner is hot. (Hence, my first point.) And due to COLONIALISM, who is at the top of the hierarchy? You guessed it: white men.

And frankly, having seen the number of hot ethnic women with mediocre white men who treat them “well”... I guess it makes sense. Women seek hypergamy and men seek novelty, so 🤷. (See Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon)

When I try to talk to brown men about colonialism, they usually stare intensely—presumably thinking about some white girl who broke their heart years ago—then resume talking about some rap beef. Or they’re currently on a path back to their religious roots, where they’ll find women conditioned to accept subpar behavior in order to be approved by the divine—because they don’t know that most religions have taken on a patriarchal bent to maintain our idea of service to a male god, and thus, to men.

Even Black men—who, in America at least, understand colonialism on a visceral level most of us will never grasp—often avoid the pain and risk that come with speaking the truth about our colonial reality. They don’t even need to know about figures like Patrice Lumumba or Thomas Sankara, whose examples would probably instill in them even more fear.

I also think colonialism seems like an ancient concept to most white people because they have no real concept of their own history. In America, most have abandoned their original cultures—some flavor of European—in order to assimilate. They become this weird amalgamation of capitalistic values shaped by a desire for belonging, expressed through extreme devotion to team sports or their alma mater. Everyone is confused.

Little do ethnic men—scratch that, most people—realize that the only way to gain the approval of this individualistic white society is to not seek it. White society, whose ideology is rooted in a colonial understanding of the world, is so individualistic that one of its core tenets is placing oneself above all else. Only then are others recognized as “worthy individuals.”

You have to be so individualistic that you appear not to care about anyone’s approval. Because individualistic people only recognize others who look and behave like themselves. They’re that individualistic. Mind-blowing, I know.

This is the first lesson the colonized need to learn: we cannot contort ourselves to fit the social expectations of individualistic white society and its Western cultural hegemony in order to be accepted or respected by it. They’re so individualistic, they don’t even accept each other.

Instead of trying to integrate in order to be accepted, accept yourself—really accept yourself—and where you come from, regardless of how it’s viewed. Sure, you may risk rejection. But frankly, you’re rejected anyway.

And is the alternate reality of aspirational acceptance really worth living?
The numbness and isolation that come with individualism are worse than acknowledging the pain of the past.

But what do I know? I’m off to find someone in finance, trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes—to rant about colonialism too.